sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
