Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
