I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
