I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
