so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
