Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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