I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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