I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
