I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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