Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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