If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I could make wine with my vomit
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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