Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
