He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
