I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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