I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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