We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
