fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Randomize
