girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
