I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
