His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
