Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize