Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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