You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I love you.
Bad choice
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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