i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
