i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
