Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
