My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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