Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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