Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Say something about gay babies.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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