Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
