Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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