Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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