I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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