do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
