he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
