I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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