I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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