shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
