My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
