I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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