wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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