I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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