I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
