Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
