i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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