i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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