NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
