Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!

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(509): ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car! http://tfl.nu/lfwp

Replies (13) Good night (617) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot

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(603): So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot http://tfl.nu/44v5

Replies (22) Good night (4279) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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(514): View more from Quebec

i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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(514): i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon" http://tfl.nu/hj7f

Replies (25) Good night (958) Bad night (5414) Order T-Shirt
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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.

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(302): I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long. http://tfl.nu/8u3p

Replies (59) Good night (3277) Bad night (1146) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken

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(508): The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken http://tfl.nu/dqor

Replies (17) Good night (831) Bad night (5756) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

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(248): He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me. http://tfl.nu/d9on

Replies (18) Good night (4481) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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(724): I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more. http://tfl.nu/i8a4

Replies (13) Good night (3129) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.

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(781): She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal. http://tfl.nu/dcp1

Replies (15) Good night (3033) Bad night (1767) Order T-Shirt
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(909): View more from California

he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.

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(909): he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him. http://tfl.nu/hp2h

Replies (6) Good night (1626) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me

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(402): Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me http://tfl.nu/m5ly

Replies (7) Good night (736) Bad night (2183)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?

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(719): Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I? http://tfl.nu/9iuq

Replies (7) Good night (455) Bad night (1627) Order T-Shirt
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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.

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(+61): I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/104i

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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(512): I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to... http://tfl.nu/6eke

Replies (13) Good night (456) Bad night (1691)
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(435): View more from Utah

I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!

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(435): I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ljj

Replies (12) Good night (1840) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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(623): View more from Arizona

Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.

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(623): Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God. http://tfl.nu/6yhq

Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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