So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.