how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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