Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
