when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
