she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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