what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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