Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's blow job season.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
